Hello, hope you are all well.

I'd just like to chat about "Tough Love" for a moment.

We have all heard that cliche being bounced around for most circumstances regarding our children, but do we really know what it means.

Our Father Almighty has been teaching me the true meaning of this phrase over the last few years. It is what we as mothers should have been doing all along. It really means keeping control where it really belongs, in the hands of the parent, not the child.

We as mothers, always tend to give in too easily, we do this for various reasons, of which I won't go into now. Our children, being the bright creatures that they really are, have picked up on this weakness in us and will use all the buttons, and methods to get exactly what they want, when they want it, and don't they usually get it right.

At this late stage in our children's lives is when Tough Love develops. As a mother you really need to stand your ground on whatever it is you have said, no matter what the consequences. As as we already know substance abusers know all the 'right words', 'right facial expressions'  etc, and we being the loving mothers that we are, will give in to this because it sounded so genuine and we really wanted to believe this time that they mean't what they said. We only realize that they didn't mean it, is when they fall off the wagon again.

That's when we go through our own disappointment in ourselves for believing, deep down knowing that it was all a bunch of lies. Let;'s put a stop to this guilty feeling that we have been living with for years now. It is NOT YOUR FAULT they made the decision. We as mothers will, of course, try our best to bring them back to normal. Doing this is going to be tough because you CANNOT give in. It is now time for our children to give to us instead of the other way around. As I said before no matter what the consequence, stand your ground and do not give in or show your child any weakness or doubt. Do that in the privacy of your own bedroom or cry your eyes out in the bathroom. They will of course threaten the end of the world to you, but trust me it's not going to happen. They probably will disappear for a while again as usual, but will be back, you know that. The reason they keep coming back is because they need you more than you need them.  When they come back they will abide by the rules of this home, or they can go, the choice is theirs. They need to realize that you are serious about this and they will soon come around.

My son has been playing me for a very long time and the last time he stole some items from me, I gave him a promise that if he ever touched anything of mine again without permission, I would most definitely have him locked up. Well the time came last week. It took me 3 days to gather up the courage to actually go through with laying the charge and opening up the case with the police, but I had to make a stand and make him realize that my word was serious.

That was the Tough-est act of Love I have ever had to do.

More next time. I hope this truly helps you.

Remember you are not alone in the walk there are plenty of us mothers out there in the same situation, we can all help each other.

Love to you all

Delice