Tough Love

Hi All Moms, although Dads are also welcome and anyone else who feels they need to practice tough love but don't know how.

As a single mom who's son is a substance abuser, I felt it necessary to help others practice tough love. Speaking to many people I have discovered that not many of us are strong enough to practice what we preach. 

After 15 years of watching my son deteriorate I have now come to the stage where I had to physically cut him out of my life. We have all threatened to do this, but never actually do. The reason for this is hope that your child will come around if you are nice to them ... once again, but it never does.

Step One: Know that you are not responsible for the condition that your child is in. They made this decision even though the example was not in the home when they were growing up.

Step Two: Set your boundaries, what kind of behavior will you accept. Stand on these rules no matter what the consequences. Trust me they will throw their little temper tantrums, because they work, but that was in the past. You have to ignore this even though your heart is breaking. 

Step Three: Love your child unconditionally, show them you love them in the manner that you deal with them. As hard as it is, do not lose your temper with them. Once you do that, you have lost the battle.

If you feel the need to break down and cry because this is too hard for you to cope with, go to your bedroom or bathroom and do it out of sight of your child. This is what they want because they are actually running the home at the moment. We as parents need to take that control back from our children. 

There are more steps, but I think these three are the start to a great and wonderful future for you and your families. Put these into practice over the next week and in my next article I will give you the next three steps to successfully "rehabbing" your child at home. 

These steps are not only for substance abusing children but for all parent who are raising children. 

Good luck, and my love goes out to you all.