Was in a Bad Space for a Time

Hi

I've been in a bad space lately. We have had hard times again and my son really took a bad turn.

Once again I had to extend love and show forgiveness, but it is soooo hard. When is this all going to end?

I just have to continue to pray according to Mat 16 vs 19 and again in Mat 18 vs 18 - I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in haven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. (Mat 16:19) and Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven, (Mat 18:18) (RSV)

I love these versus purely because of the word "whatever". This alone tells me that I can bind specific things in my life or the lives of others.

So my prayer for my son is to bind the demons of addiction, specifically the demon of Tik (Crystal Meth) and any other name I have heard this called. I also bind his mind to the mind of Christ, his heart to the heart of Jesus and his desires to the desires of The Father.

I then pray over my son The Father's love for him, his self-confidence and self esteem and the desire to be released from the bondage of addiction will be loosed into my son.

I know and stand on the Word of God when He tells me in Jer 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope" (RSV).

I know that my son will be released from his bondage soon and then his life can really grow and prosper.

Tough Love

Hi All Moms, although Dads are also welcome and anyone else who feels they need to practice tough love but don't know how.

As a single mom who's son is a substance abuser, I felt it necessary to help others practice tough love. Speaking to many people I have discovered that not many of us are strong enough to practice what we preach. 

After 15 years of watching my son deteriorate I have now come to the stage where I had to physically cut him out of my life. We have all threatened to do this, but never actually do. The reason for this is hope that your child will come around if you are nice to them ... once again, but it never does.

Step One: Know that you are not responsible for the condition that your child is in. They made this decision even though the example was not in the home when they were growing up.

Step Two: Set your boundaries, what kind of behavior will you accept. Stand on these rules no matter what the consequences. Trust me they will throw their little temper tantrums, because they work, but that was in the past. You have to ignore this even though your heart is breaking. 

Step Three: Love your child unconditionally, show them you love them in the manner that you deal with them. As hard as it is, do not lose your temper with them. Once you do that, you have lost the battle.

If you feel the need to break down and cry because this is too hard for you to cope with, go to your bedroom or bathroom and do it out of sight of your child. This is what they want because they are actually running the home at the moment. We as parents need to take that control back from our children. 

There are more steps, but I think these three are the start to a great and wonderful future for you and your families. Put these into practice over the next week and in my next article I will give you the next three steps to successfully "rehabbing" your child at home. 

These steps are not only for substance abusing children but for all parent who are raising children. 

Good luck, and my love goes out to you all.

Hello, hope you are all well.

I'd just like to chat about "Tough Love" for a moment.

We have all heard that cliche being bounced around for most circumstances regarding our children, but do we really know what it means.

Our Father Almighty has been teaching me the true meaning of this phrase over the last few years. It is what we as mothers should have been doing all along. It really means keeping control where it really belongs, in the hands of the parent, not the child.

We as mothers, always tend to give in too easily, we do this for various reasons, of which I won't go into now. Our children, being the bright creatures that they really are, have picked up on this weakness in us and will use all the buttons, and methods to get exactly what they want, when they want it, and don't they usually get it right.

At this late stage in our children's lives is when Tough Love develops. As a mother you really need to stand your ground on whatever it is you have said, no matter what the consequences. As as we already know substance abusers know all the 'right words', 'right facial expressions'  etc, and we being the loving mothers that we are, will give in to this because it sounded so genuine and we really wanted to believe this time that they mean't what they said. We only realize that they didn't mean it, is when they fall off the wagon again.

That's when we go through our own disappointment in ourselves for believing, deep down knowing that it was all a bunch of lies. Let;'s put a stop to this guilty feeling that we have been living with for years now. It is NOT YOUR FAULT they made the decision. We as mothers will, of course, try our best to bring them back to normal. Doing this is going to be tough because you CANNOT give in. It is now time for our children to give to us instead of the other way around. As I said before no matter what the consequence, stand your ground and do not give in or show your child any weakness or doubt. Do that in the privacy of your own bedroom or cry your eyes out in the bathroom. They will of course threaten the end of the world to you, but trust me it's not going to happen. They probably will disappear for a while again as usual, but will be back, you know that. The reason they keep coming back is because they need you more than you need them.  When they come back they will abide by the rules of this home, or they can go, the choice is theirs. They need to realize that you are serious about this and they will soon come around.

My son has been playing me for a very long time and the last time he stole some items from me, I gave him a promise that if he ever touched anything of mine again without permission, I would most definitely have him locked up. Well the time came last week. It took me 3 days to gather up the courage to actually go through with laying the charge and opening up the case with the police, but I had to make a stand and make him realize that my word was serious.

That was the Tough-est act of Love I have ever had to do.

More next time. I hope this truly helps you.

Remember you are not alone in the walk there are plenty of us mothers out there in the same situation, we can all help each other.

Love to you all

Delice

Hello again

I hope my last blog gave you something to think about

There are many different reasons for experimentation with drugs. Some reasons are curiosity, peer pressure, relieve stress, anxiety or depression.

Most of the sites that I have been onto, in my opinion, seem to see use of drugs be they recreational or prescription is okay as long as it is not causing problems at work, home, school etc.

I totally disagree with this kind of thinking. Signs of problems does not indicate addiction, once again in my opinion and I am not medically qualified, but I am a mother of a substance abuser and I have watched him deteriorate over a period of 15 years. I think this qualifies me to state my opinion. The definition of addiction is when you cannot live without it. If you need something to make you “have a good time”, distress or handle anxiety, then you have a problem.

Read more in my next blog ……..

Are You or Anyone you know being affected by Substance Abuse?

The use of recreational or prescription drugs without ever experiencing negative consequences or addition by some people are few and far between. For the majority, substance use will cause problems at work, home, school, and in relationships, leaving you feeling isolated, helpless, or ashamed.

If a friend or family member’s drug use is a worrying factor in your life, remember that help is available

Knowing the nature of drug addiction and the reasons why people become addicted will give you a better understanding of the nature of the problem and how to deal with it.

Learn more in my next blog ......